


Enter The One Big Ball

by Holy_Leonards



Category: Fallout 4
Genre: (Botched) Homophobic Slur, Anal? Sex, Charred Penis, Crack, Exhaust, Lonliness, M/M, Masturbation, Thruster Sex, flames
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-11
Updated: 2016-04-11
Packaged: 2018-06-01 15:02:41
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6525013
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Holy_Leonards/pseuds/Holy_Leonards
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Nate catches Codsworth masturbating and offers to help him out with his robotic sexual itch.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Enter The One Big Ball

**Author's Note:**

> My dirty rotten good for nothing boyfriend asked me to write this.

Nate had been watching that filthy little orb go about his business. By business, I don't mean yard work or bathroom usage. I mean masturbation. SEX! The floaty guy had been going around and sexing up all kinds of weird stuff. Nate had hid in the bushes and witnessed the most intimate door knob polishing this side of the mushroom clouds. He had also slipped out of bed at night to get a midnight snack and caught a glimpse of Codsworth pushing the loose sticks into a pile and setting them on fire while saying something along the lines of “Take it, fagoot!”

One day, Nate decided to confront the sneaky fuck about it.

“Codsworth!”

“Coming, sir!”

Codworth glided his way into Nate's old, decaying house. 

“Codsworth, I need to talk to you about something.”

“Go right ahead, sir, I am all ears...um...I mean...listening ports.”

“Don't ask me how I know this, but it has come to my attention that you have been doing...things that are a little strange for a Mr. Handy.”

“Like what, sir? Has it been the humming?”

“No, well, kind of. I mean, I have never seen a Mr. Handy, or even a Mr. Gutsy, humming the tune of 'Baby Got Back'.”

“I just so happen to enjoy big butts, sir!”

“That brings me to what I was getting at.”

Codsworth's eye things widened.

“Oh, sir...”

“Codsworth, I know that you have been having sex with various things around here.”

Codsworth made a high-pitched, distorted crying sound.

“Sir! Don't have me desexualized! You're never the same after you HARD drive has been deleted.”

“No, I'm not going to do that.”

Nate stood up from his chair made out of old telephone pole wood and re-purposed dresses. 

“Codsworth, I was wondering if you wanted to try those things with a human.”

“HOT DOG, SIR!”

“It sounds like you have thought about this before.”

“Oh, sir, have I!? Those 200 years without anyone were quite lonely. I had to resort to painting your face on the wall of the house and running into it until I got something resembling an orgasm.”

Nate felt really bad for the robot. After all, he would have done this earlier if he only knew.

“Well, I am here now. So, what did you have in mind?”

“I would like Sir to decide what we do.”

Nate looked down at Codsworth's exhaust.

“Codsworth, is your exhaust port a...you know...”

“I'm afraid I don't know, sir.”

“Is it...a butthole?”

“It most certainly is!”

“So, you have been farting your way around this whole time.”

“Well, sir, the Mr. Handy fuel tends to give a lot of gas.”

Nate picked up a canister that was beside the door. It read “MADE WITH 100% JALAPEÑO PEPPER FLUID”. 

“Oh! Well that explains it.”

“Indeed, sir.”

“Anyways, is there any way that I could, like, I don't know... penetrate the hole?”

“You could give it a shot! My censors read that it would be safe for people.”

“Let's give it a try then. Head on over to my bed.”

Codsworth did as he was told and laid on his...back(?) on the bed. He spread his tools and waited for his wonderful sir to slip in. Nate just undid his button and let his massive dick flop out.

“It is better than I imagined, sir!”

“Thanks.”

Nate walked over to the still-flaming hole.

“Codsowrth, buddy, can you shut the flames off?”

“Afraid not, sir.”

“Well, YOLO, am I right?”

“Indeed, sir, Young Odd Lovers Ovulate!”

“Yeah, here I come!”

Nate thrusted in. As he moved closer to the hole, Codsworth screamed.

“THRUUUUUUUST!”

Nate got the tip of his penis to the threshold of the hole, when it burned so bad that it hardened for good. The pain was so intense that he flew back against the wall and his body spasmed uncontrollably.

“Sir! You are glitching again, sir!”

Nate just flopped around for another five minutes before falling flat on his face. He got up immediately and rubbed his head.

“Did I make it in?”

“Just the tip, sir.”

“Well, I made it.”

Nate looked down to see his penis was completely charred and stiff.

“Oh no!”

“Sir, it seems that your member got flame hardened. The same thing that happens to wood when you burn it a little. From my estimate, this will last forever.”

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO”

Nate just screamed into the night. Rumors say that, when you get close enough to sanctuary, you can still hear the dick-hardened screams of him discovering his fate.

**Author's Note:**

> I'm the only one that writes this stuff. Codsworth/Male Sole Survivor™


End file.
